The end of the school year is approaching quickly, and with it the shit load of projects and final exams that attempt to evaluate what we’ve gleaned from the class. I’ve always been a procrastinator, so I tend to freak out the day before the project is due. This happened recently, in my Rhetorical Communications class. I had to write a five minute speech on any topic I wanted, with the intent to win the audience over to my perspective.
As I came up with extensive reasons to put off this task, my prime working hours came into effect at 2AM on the day of my deadline. I love public speaking so I knew I wouldn’t need to rehearse, mostly it came down to picking a topic. I imagine your curiosity is getting the better of you right now. What subject did I turn my considerable intellect on? Egypt? Possibly the issues involved with the US bombing Libya? Sadly no, but I think I chose a topic that plagues us a little closer to home: Facebook Relationship Statuses.
Now my issue is not concerned with the listing of relationships, although it seems a bit excessive that you want every one of your three hundred plus ‘friends’ to know you have that special someone in your life. It’s the status updates that stem from relationships. Everyone has someone on their Facebook who’s guilty of this, hell we’ve all probably thrown out a little too much information, but there are people who consistently spew this written diarrhea all over our Newsfeeds. We don’t need to know about the breakup competition they’ve entered, or that they now enjoy ‘random play’. Guess what we REALLY don’t care about? That’s ‘it’s complicated’ with so and so.
The next issue I raised against relationship information was the kissing profile picture. These picture combined with the claims of true love have me wondering who they’re trying to convince? Are the doubts and fears about the relationship only kept at bay in direct relation to their online sappiness? I don’t have any answers to these questions, yet I implored my class to take a stand against this behavior. In my opinion, if you’re willing to put this information on a public site, then you should be prepared for the laughter that might follow at your expense.
My roommate from residence last year L and I write (although we haven’t had a chance to in a while, the whole other side of the country thing) a blog. A boy in our residence had taken a huge shit on all of our Newsfeeds, which led L to writing this article Facebook Relationships for Dummies. I used this to demonstrate the extremes of pointless relationship information.
My speech went really well, and one of my classmates encouraged me to post it on my profile. I appreciated his support, but it was written as more of a joke. Plus, it allowed me to take a couple jabs without anyone knowing or understanding their real meaning. That way no one gets hurt and I release some aggression.
Writing the speech was slightly therapeutic, and it got me thinking about how much information we share. I’m definitely guilty of writing stupid statuses that I think are entertaining, and most of my profile pictures are of me doing stupid faces that I think are funny. I imagine it leaves others with the impression that I may be slow. I don’t think I’m better than anyone, actually the truth is closer to a feeling of complete worthlessness, but I’ve gotten to a point where I’ve stopped caring.
There is something that leaves me shaking with regret the next morning. In the first moments of consciousness I feel the pit of memories sink into my stomach as I remember the previous night. Alcohol combined with my Facebook account where I used the message button to metaphorically throw up my emotions on the screen before me. Fuck, fuck, fuck. That’s all I can think when I finally get the courage to reread what I wrote.
I’ve always worried that I experience emotions too strongly, so I’m constantly suppressing them. I’ve gotten pretty good at this, and when I’m struggling with my emotions sober, alcohol is no friend of mine. Some girls find alcohol a problem because it lowers their inhibitions and adds to their promiscuity. I’ve never had that problem, mine is that I lose control of my emotions and release the wall of built up bullshit that I’ve been holding in. Shit that no one needs to know or hear.
I had one of these nights yesterday, and as I write this blog entry I’m laughing at myself wishing someone would just look at me and confirm what I know to be true: what an idiot I am. I’m looking for a validation that I’ll never receive, and even as I write this sentence I realize how pretentious it is to assume that anyone would even want to read this. Which brings me back to the topic of my speech. I started to think about the people who publish what I might consider pointless information, and I wonder if we all subjects of our fears and desires? Have we taken these Social Networking sites and used them as an attempt to create a window into our souls? Can you see beneath the bullshit and find the real person that’s underneath? I’m going to start trying.
No comments:
Post a Comment